All you need to know about Marriage

  • All you need to know about Marriage

We come to know now a days that there are so many questions about marriage that cross our minds and we get often confuse because we don’t know the answers so we make decisions in our lives that affect our walk with our dear Lord. This article will answer most of those questions and give you feedback on what to do when you encounter a tuff decision in your life without jeopardizing our relationship with our God.

We have a couple of love birds that decided to move forward with their relationship and now they are ready for marriage. They both are beleivers and God bless their marriage. Well know that you are in for a long run. Since this marriage is intended to be for ever.

6 Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.”
Matthew 19:6
New Living Translation (NLT)

9 let no one split apart what God has joined together.”
Mark 10:9
New Living Translation (NLT)

Now things are not working out very well and questions are rising. We’ll explain and answers this questions thru this article and then move on to talk about our duties as husband and wife in our marriage.

Is sexual activity unspiritual?

No is not. Now that God has bless your marriage, go ahead and fullfill your vows and render to a physical affection that is consistent and God-ordained for the procreation and the pleasure of both in a marriage.
In fact, the duty is so high in a marriage that the wife doesn’t even have authority over her own body, the husband does. And likewise, the husband doesn’t have authority over his own body but the wife does. So, stop depriving one another. Paul says that’s not what God is asking. Have your own wife, have your own husband and fulfill your duties to each other. And do not deprive each other of that.”

5 Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
1 Corinthians 7:5
New Living Translation (NLT)

Can we be join by other in a group sex environment or an open relationship?

No. this is not what God intended in the beginning of times. God created a woman and a man to be united in marriage for the sole purpose to please each other to keep temptation away from our lives. Doing so will put you in a sinful relationship and will jeopardize your walk with the Lord.

4 “Haven’t you read the Scriptures?” Jesus replied. “They record that from the beginning ‘God made them male and female.’” 5 And he said, “‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’
Matthew 19:4-5
New Living Translation (NLT)

2 But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband.
1 Corinthians 7:2
New Living Translation (NLT)

Things are not working out anymore and we want to seek for divorce. Can we divorce our spouse and what are our options?

 Divorce is not an option for this type of relationship. Your marriage is to last for life and if there is anything bugging the couple, we are to trust and pray for the Lord to bring back this relationship in good standings. God hates divorce and because God joins together every couple. “What God has joined together, let not man separate.” Don’t divorce. One man, one woman, in one union, the indivisible one for life, no separation. But if you divorce your spouse you are commiting adultery since you are causing the other person to sin. Nothing should break this marriage apart but two things. Death or adultery. If you do get divorce without any of this 2 reasons, then you will make her/him to commit adultery.

31 “You have heard the law that says, ‘A man can divorce his wife by merely giving her a written notice of divorce.’ 32 But I say that a man who divorces his wife, unless she has been unfaithful, causes her to commit adultery. And anyone who marries a divorced woman also commits adultery.
Matthew 5:31-32
New Living Translation (NLT)

11 He told them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery against her. 12 And if a woman divorces her husband and marries someone else, she commits adultery.”
Mark 10:11-12
New Living Translation (NLT)

If the wife still wants to be separeted for some time to think things thru, let her go. But you must not re-married anyone else but get back together reconciled to each other.

11 But if she does leave him, let her remain single or else be reconciled to him. And the husband must not leave his wife.
1 Corinthians 7:11
New Living Translation (NLT)

1. Adultery
If one person in a marriage commited adultery then you are free to go. No sin will be commited here. But you don’t have to go. You are free to stay but you won’t have the sin of adultery if you indeed decide to leave your spouse.

2. Death of a spouse
If your spouse dies then you are free to either re-marry or you could stay single. Is up to you. If you have the gift to control yourself then is fine to stay alone but if you deal with the flesh and can’t resist temptations then you should re-marry. Either way, you won’t have the sin of adultery on you.

Things are not working out anymore and we want to seek for divorce. Can we divorce our spouse and what are our options for unequally joked relationships?

Now understand what happens, maybe a wife comes to hear the gospel, she believes in the gospel, she is saved and now she’s got an unconverted husband. Is she in a situation where she is unequally yoked together with an unbeliever? Is she having a relationship with a person who is part of the kingdom of Satan? Is this light and darkness joined together? Is this sin and righteousness joined together? The Lord’s teaching is no divorce if there is no problems.

1. If any brother has a spouse who is an unbeliever and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman who has an unbelieving husband and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband or divorce her husband.

12 Now, I will speak to the rest of you, though I do not have a direct command from the Lord. If a Christian man has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to continue living with him, he must not leave her. 13 And if a Christian woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to continue living with her, she must not leave him.
1 Corinthians 7:12-13
New Living Translation (NLT)

2. If any brother has a spouse who is an unbeliever and she wants to divorse him, he should let her go. You don’t have to but is an option that you have without commiting adultery for accepting the divorce.

15 (But if the husband or wife who isn’t a believer insists on leaving, let them go. In such cases the Christian husband or wife is no longer bound to the other, for God has called you to live in peace.)
1 Corinthians 7:15
New Living Translation (NLT)

If I want to stay why should I stay?

 “For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband, for otherwise your children are unclean but now they are holy.”

If your unbelieving partner loves you and wants to stay with you, you stay in that marriage. Why? “Because you become the sanctifying instrument in the life of that non-believer and in the children of that union because you are the one receiving the grace of God that is being poured out on your life that will spill over to those unbelieving people and to your husband or your wife and your children.” Instead of the Christian, listen, being defiled by the unbeliever, the unbeliever is cleansed by the presence of the Christian.

We’re not talking about salvation here. We’re simply talking about the pure, wonderful blessings of God falling on a believer and spilling over to a non-believer and making a purer, cleaner, lovelier home. God pours out His blessings on His redeemed and on the children of His redeemed.

I need to shake that partner because he’s a pagan, he’ll defile me. No, you’ll be the means of sanctifying influence on him.

3. If one person in a marriage commited adultery then you are free to go. No sin will be commited here. But you don’t have to go. You are free to stay but you won’t have the sin of adultery if you indeed decide to leave your spouse.

Special rule “No Longer Bound to the Law” This applies to widows and when someone is a victim of adultery or an unbeliever wants to divorce a beleiver.

You are not under bondage. The bondage is broken. You are no longer bound. The married woman is bound by law to her husband while he is living. If her husband dies, she is released from that law. Same language here. If an unbeliever leaves, you are not bound.

1 Now, dear brothers and sisters—you who are familiar with the law—don’t you know that the law applies only while a person is living? 2 For example, when a woman marries, the law binds her to her husband as long as he is alive. But if he dies, the laws of marriage no longer apply to her. 3 So while her husband is alive, she would be committing adultery if she married another man. But if her husband dies, she is free from that law and does not commit adultery when she remarries.
4 So, my dear brothers and sisters, this is the point: You died to the power of the law when you died with Christ. And now you are united with the one who was raised from the dead. As a result, we can produce a harvest of good deeds for God. 5 When we were controlled by our old nature, sinful desires were at work within us, and the law aroused these evil desires that produced a harvest of sinful deeds, resulting in death. 6 But now we have been released from the law, for we died to it and are no longer captive to its power. Now we can serve God, not in the old way of obeying the letter of the law, but in the new way of living in the Spirit.
Romans 7:1-6
New Living Translation (NLT)

What does that mean? The union has been broken, you no longer are bound by it which then assumes you have the right to remarry if a non-believer leaves because God has called us to peace and the blessings of peace are what God wants for His children.

You say, “Well, I think I’ll just hang on till the dying day. I think I’ll fight this guy all the way to the end. I think I’ll make it really impossible for him to divorce me because I want to see him saved.” Good. However, verse in 1 Corinthians 7:16 is written for you. “How do you know…how do you know, O wife, whether you’ll save your husband?” That’s pretty practical, isn’t it? Marriage is not an evangelistic tool. It’s an evangelistic context, but don’t think that just by hanging on to this guy that some how you’re going to save him. How do you know whether you’ll save him? Or how do you know, husband, whether you’ll save your wife?

16 For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?
1 Corinthians 7:16
New King James Version (NKJV)

That’s not the point. You have no knowledge of that. When the unconverted person is determined to leave and seeks a divorce, you don’t need to perpetuate the tension and the frustration and the hatred and the animosity under some notion that you might be the only person on the planet who can be the instrument of salvation. That’s for God to decide.

If you don’t have the gift of singleness. Should the formerly married remarry?

 Yes if they desire to be married because it’s better to be married than to burn. But if you can be single, be single and focus on the Kingdom.

I want you to know that Paul in the book of 1 Corinthians doesn’t say get married because you find somebody that you like. He says, really get married because you’re running at a very high risk of life if you don’t. We are not to have any room for temptation, fornication, sexual inmoralities. The fact of life is that if you try to stay single, as good as celibacy can be, marriage is the norm and marriage is better if being single results in temptation.

As a married couple you have the duty to fulfill to each other. That duty, obviously, is to render the physical affection that is consistent and God-ordained for the procreation and the pleasure of people in a marriage.

In fact, the duty is so high in a marriage that the wife doesn’t even have authority over her own body, the husband does. And likewise, the husband doesn’t have authority over his own body but the wife does. So, stop depriving one another. Paul says that’s not what God is asking. Have your own wife, have your own husband and fulfill your duties to each other. And do not deprive each other of that.”

5 Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
1 Corinthians 7:5
New Living Translation (NLT)

If there is some exigency in your life, some trauma in your life, some issue in your life which much like fasting from food, consumes you with sadness and sorrow, these kinds of things flee your mind. You agree to that. But come together again.” Why? “So that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” Don’t do that. You give Satan opportunity.

There are only two ways that you can be married and then not be married.


You either were widowed or you were divorced. So to those who have been divorced, called the unmarried, and to widows, it is good for them if they remain singles.

34 His interests are divided. In the same way, a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit. But a married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband.
1 Corinthians 7:34
New Living Translation (NLT)

The unmarried are the formerly married, which means they went to a divorse. “If she leaves, she must remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband.” unless there was adultery involve then this doesn’t apply to you.

11 But if she does leave him, let her remain single or else be reconciled to him. And the husband must not leave his wife.
1 Corinthians 7:11
New Living Translation (NLT)

“If they do not have self-control, let them marry. It’s better to marry than to burn.” Not burn in hell, but burn with desire.

9 But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust.
1 Corinthians 7:9
New Living Translation (NLT)

But if you need to be married, if that’s a problem physically, get married. And you remember in 1 Timothy 5:14, the Apostle Paul makes this very clear when he’s talking about widows there. He says, “I want younger widows to get married, bear children, keep house, give the enemy no occasion for a reproach, for some have already turned aside to follow Satan.” You don’t’ want a lot of young widows with all their desires being vulnerable to evil things around them. Stay single if you’re able. Paul was able and he was focused and he was given that gift. It indicates that God can give that gift even after marriage if He so desires. Be convinced that God has allowed your singleness for holy purposes. Pour your life in to the Kingdom.

14 So I advise these younger widows to marry again, have children, and take care of their own homes. Then the enemy will not be able to say anything against them.
1 Timothy 5:14
New Living Translation (NLT)

“Should salvation change our marital status?”

 That’s kind of what we’ve been dealing with. “Only as the Lord has assigned to each one as God has called each in this manner, let him walk.”

17 Each of you should continue to live in whatever situation the Lord has placed you, and remain as you were when God first called you. This is my rule for all the churches.
1 Corinthians 7:17
New Living Translation (NLT)

Salvation doesn’t really change anything. Now that you’re a believer, you don’t have to give up sex, throw out your partner. It doesn’t change anything. If you and he gives some illustrations and analogies, “Was any man called when he was already circumcised?” If you were saved when you were Jewish, you can stay that way. Don’t become uncircumcised. If you were called in uncircumcision, don’t be circumcised. Circumcision is nothing and uncircumcision is nothing. But what matters is the keeping of the commandments of God.

And that’s simply an analogy and an illustration to say everybody remains in the condition in which he was called. So if you were saved single, that doesn’t change. If you were saved married, that doesn’t change. If you were saved and all of a sudden your unconverted spouse wants to divorce you, stay the way you are.

So how does that work out? You come, you receive the Lord Jesus Christ, you’re a converted husband, you have an unsaved wife. You’re a converted wife, you have an unsaved husband. What are you supposed to do? Withhold from him a physical relationship? Divorce him? Throw him out of the house? No, stay where you are.

Single or married, whatever God wills in whatever situation you’re in, stay that way. That is so important because Christianity was never intended to just rip and shred families. The very opposite is true. Unless that unbeliever wants to leave, you become the sanctifying influence for the one that stays.

Marriage has no relation to the eternal, right?

 You remember when they said to Jesus, “Who’s wife shall she be in heaven?” And Jesus said, “In heaven there is neither marrying or giving in marriage.” This is…this is good advice, Paul says, the pressure of the system, the problems of the flesh, living in this life, and the passing of the world means that if you can concentrate on the eternal things, in dire times, you simplify your life.

In Summary:

So bottom line here, up to this point, is that becoming a Christian does not of necessity mean that you have to make some dramatic alteration of your marital status. That’s not what the Lord requires.

For single people, don’t delay. If God’s designed you for marriage, get married. If you’re divorced or widowed and you can stay single, stay single. If not, and you have grounds for remarriage, get married. If you’re widowed and you can stay single, if not get married. If you’re married to a believer, remain. If you’re married to a non-believer and he wants to stay, or she wants to stay, remain and be a sanctifying blessing to the family. And if you’re married to an unbeliever who wants out, let him go, you’re not in bondage to that person.

Well, you say, “I’m so far down the line, I’ve already messed up all that.” Well you’ll be glad to know if we confess our sins, He’s faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness, right? It’s all about His forgiveness.

Father, it’s been exciting to just dig in to this a little bit and have hopefully a better understanding of Your truth on this and we know that what You give us is for our good. It is so that we can put ourselves in the place of maximum joy and maximum blessing and we all need forgiveness, Lord, for so many things in our lives. And there are folks who are reading this today that are feeling some of the pain of breaking Your law in the past, but You’re a God of forgiveness and You cleanse us from all our sins according to the riches of Your grace that are provided for us endlessly and boundlessly in Christ. And all You ask of us is that we confess, that we repent, and that we start a pattern of obedience in our lives now. I pray, Lord, that Your grace would be upon all of us and that Your power would be on us to enable us to live as You would have us live, whether single or married, whatever You have for us, may we know that clearly, may we live joyfully in the midst of that. And would You provide for us what we so much need in order to be the people You want us to be. We thank You in Your Son’s name. Amen.

Are you ready to be forgiven? Make the decision and follow Christ and be ready to be use in a magnificent way to glorify the name of the Lord.

If you want to read concerning Singles, please read the “Only For Singles” blog post.

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About the Author:

Is so wonderful to see how the love of Christ could bring healing to the lost. A simple blog article, a Tweet, a simple post on other social networks could make someone smile. Social media is a powerful tool, the more we share, the more that our Lord is Glorified. Online Evangelism, Social media Servant dedicated to spread the good news to the lost.

  • renettamac

    Thanks so much for this article. This is a lesson that everyone should take to heart and apply to their lives. Furthermore, I would encourage anyone who has sinned sexually in the past to embrace the forgiveness of god. He has forgiven it and doesn’t remember it… Old things are past away. It’s not right to uncover the dead. When you accept Christ, all things are made new. At times one may stumble… Ok, get up! Ask for forgiveness. He will be faithful and just… He will forgive.

  • http://www.facebook.com/recovery213 Bill Hargadon

    Thank You for the article. I have been married 2 times. The first marriage lasted about 4 years. My wife did commit adultery and we divorced. I am now married again for 25 years and have 4 beautiful children that I know are loved and blessed by God. I was brought up Catholic and in that belief system I am a sinner and probably destined to hell. But my true evolved spirituality and new relationship with God tells me different. I truly believe this marriage is destined for life. My wife and I have been through extremely good times, intermediate times and extremely bad times. I feel that in love and marriage we need to go through ALL times together getting through the pains of struggle and growth. I feel so grateful and thankful. And I definitely feel blessed by God on this journey called Life!

  • http://twitter.com/Christi18152152 Christina Whitlock

    Wonderfully written Rigo…This is subject matter I agonized over for many years after my husband divorced me…I have shared your writing because I am positive there are many out there that need clarity on these issues and will be blessed…God bless you!

  • Oscar

    Thanks for this insightful and revealing article. I’m mostly blessesed especially with the understanding of the requirements of marriage and the fact the divorce is really not an option.I’m new in marriage and I’m going to need all your prayers and more of this post,Rigo,to make the most out of the marriage. Thanks and God bless you.

  • Lynda

    Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing this Excellent article with me.
    …sadly, I now beleive I know what will happen to my marriage…
    God knows I went over and beyond what any spouse should be expected to do and live through in order to save a marriage and spouse.
    I covet your prayers. This is going to be painful.
    Thank God, He has His best for me, waiting.
    May God protect and bless marriages <3
    God bless you,
    Lynda

    • http://GoingAfterOne.com/ Rigo Campos

      @disqus_x8RlyKyNw7:disqus I am so glad and honor to have you spend some of your precious time to read this article. I thank the Lord for making the information available to us to share and to bless one another. I will keep you in prayer so the Lord could make things clear in your life and He could give you wisdom to know how to apply this information to your particular case. God bless you and stay bless.

  • http://twitter.com/fonsecajeanette Jeanette H Fonseca

    First of all God bless and thank you so much for this wonderful post. But this is a subject that has always brought me some sort of confusion and I have many questions regarding this very interesting and controversial subject. When I got married i was not a born again christian and my ex- Husband was from a totally different religion. But later on in the marriage we both gave our lives to Jesus. My first question is, even if we weren’t christians when we got married, does that mean that God did bring us together or we just took actions into our own hands? and how does God see that ? I’m a divorcee, can I be allowed to get re-married? And NO I don’t have the gift of singleness…

    • http://GoingAfterOne.com/ Rigo Campos

      Hi Jeanette, I want to thank you for taking the time to read the article and I will be happy to answer those questions.
      1. “does that mean that God did bring us together or we just took actions into our own hands?” & 2. “how does God see that ?” The Lord always want us to have that perfect person in each of our lives but He will never bring something that will make you walk away from His love. A person that does not believe or/and has another religion WILL definitely make you walk away from God. It was a blessing that eventually both were saved but this leads to the next answer.
      3. “I’m a divorcee, can I be allowed to get re-married?” depends on your case. Also depends the reason on why you divorce your ex husband. If there was adultery and you divorce him because of that then yes you could re married. But also keep in mind that as a believer, we must give each other a chance to repent and God doesn’t like divorces. We must forgive others BUT if you were not willing to follow the Lord’s command and decided to file for divorce then due to the circumstances you might have walk out without a sin in your part.

      If you divorce him and you were the one doing the adultery, then you have sin against God and no other Christian brother should married you.

      I hope this helps. God bless

      • http://twitter.com/fonsecajeanette Jeanette H Fonseca

        Yes it did,thank you. But I’m still a little confused. Not by your answer, your amswer was very helpful. But If God forgives us for our sins, Dosen’t that include all sins., Then why Can’t a christian brother marry me if I was the one who sin agaisnt my husband or visa versa?

        • http://GoingAfterOne.com/ Rigo Campos

          God will forgive you for all your sins as long as you repent, walk away from the sins, and believe in Jesus Christ.

          If you are divorce and are a christian then that means you either commited adultery or your husband did. You either got divorce or your ex divorced you and if both are believers then that means something extreme happened for you to get to the point to file. Maybe you were a “believer” but were not saved yet? This applies to people that are believers. If you did not know the Lord then the Lord as you come to Christ He will make you a whole new person and your sins will be erased. But only you know where you are and what applies to you since you are the one that knows what happend. Now you could indeed return to your ex husband if he is a believer and marry him. That is acceptable.

          32 But I say that a man who divorces his wife, unless she has been unfaithful, causes her to commit adultery. And anyone who marries a divorced woman also commits adultery.
          Matthew 5:32
          New Living Translation (NLT)

          12 And if a woman divorces her husband and marries someone else, she commits adultery.”
          Mark 10:12
          New Living Translation (NLT)

          11 But if she does leave him, let her remain single or else be reconciled to him. And the husband must not leave his wife.
          1 Corinthians 7:11
          New Living Translation (NLT)

          • http://twitter.com/fonsecajeanette Jeanette H Fonseca

            Thank you And God bless

          • http://GoingAfterOne.com/ Rigo Campos

            You are very welcome sister. I hope the answers help you better understand the article. God bless you and yours in Jesus name.

  • Carrie L. Huskey

    What if there’s domestic violence in a marriage? I was in 2 abusive marriages and there was also adultery
    Did I sin when I divorced them?

    • http://chr1stl1ke.wordpress.com chr1stl1ke

      Carrie,

      No you didn’t. A reborn Christian brother will never touch you in any way to harm you or your kids.
      If the husband was abusive then that means he wasn’t walking with the Lord. No person that worship God and believes in his awesome power and blessings will do such a thing. No excuses. You did good.

      Now same thing for adultery, in Matthew 5:31-32 clearly states that you are free to divorce your husband if there was adultery.
      In both cases is up to you if you want to stay or divorce your partner. You don’t have to leave him but if you do there is no sin against yourself.
      Now, you as a believer, must understand that your partner must be walking with the Lord and have a full understanding of God’s love and commandment. Otherwise you marrying an unbeliever will bring you trouble every single time. Please make the right choice not by your own understanding but let God put the right person in your path. Only this way you will have a bless marriage and will not be in an unequally joked relationship. Thank you so much for your comment. God bless

      31 “You have heard the law that says, ‘A man can divorce his wife by merely giving her a written notice of divorce.’ 32 But I say that a man who divorces his wife, unless she has been unfaithful, causes her to commit adultery. And anyone who marries a divorced woman also commits adultery.
      Matthew 5:31-32
      New Living Translation (NLT)

      • Carrie L. Huskey

        Thank you for answering my question. My husband now is a born again believer. I waited on God for him. He treats me like a queen. I thank God every day for him. He is definitely from God.

        • http://chr1stl1ke.wordpress.com chr1stl1ke

          Amen sister. Sometimes we have to learn the hard way. Is not that God doesn’t like us for letting us go thru suffering. Is that we don’t read or understand the scriptures right and we miss the part where he tells us what to do and how to wait on Him to provide for us. Believing is not just saying it but living it by reading, learning and spreading the word of God to everyone around us.
          Thank you Jesus for giving my sister a good man of God that knows how to treat her well. God blessing to you and your family in Jesus name I pray.

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